Parenthood Sermon Illustrations

Parenthood Sermon Illustrations

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My son had been having trouble with his grammar studies in school. For several weeks we worked at night on the three degrees of adjectives and adverbs. After patiently emphasizing that the comparative degree was stronger and that the superlative was strongest, I dictated a list of words to compare, which included the adjective "high."

On his tablet I was amazed to find: "Positive degree—Hi. Comparative degree—Hello. Superlative degree—How do you do?"—Ernest Blevins, Your Life


His homework's done to radio,
TV, and records' riot ...
I wonder that his thoughts can flow
In school, where it's so quiet!—Marie Daerr


Mother was telling her small son about the good times she had when she was a little girl—riding a pony, sliding down a hay-stack, and wading in a brook.

"Mother," he said at last, with a sigh, "I wish I'd met you earlier!"


Nephew Buddy Smith adamantly refused a nicely browned slice of toast with the comment, "I don't want dirty bread, I want clean bread."—M. Dale Baughman


No parent should spend all his time in the garden of a child's life digging up weeds; there is always the danger of scratching out flowers not yet above the ground.


A report from a scientific conference is headlined "Daily Noise Level Reaching Danger Point." Exactly what we told the kids last night while trying to read the evening paper.—Changing Times


One parent we know thinks it only fair to apply a withholding tax to the youngster's allowance just so the younger generation can get gradually accustomed to a procedure to which adults are now hardened.—Christian Science Monitor


A mother's heart leaped up when she heard her non-intellectual son whistling Mendelssohn's "Spring Song" as he did his nightly minimum of homework. "Where," she asked eagerly, "did you learn that music?"

"Oh, that? That," replied the lad, "is what they play on TV when somebody gets bopped on the head."—Mrs. Dean Binder, Catholic Digest


"My, what a sweet-looking little fellow," cooed the lady artist; "would you like me to paint you?"

"I guess I wouldn't mind," the youngster replied, "but I don't think my ma would like it cause she'd have to get it off."—Sunshine Magazine


Mother heard a big noise on the back porch where the small boy was playing.

"What are you doing out there?" she asked.
"Nothing," came the reply.

"What are you doing it with?" she continued.

"With the hammer," was the answer.—Clinton County News


A young father reached the ultimate the other night when he overheard himself yelling up the stairs: "O.K. This is the last time I'm going to tell you kids for the last time!"—Bill Vaughan, NANA


After a hard day at the office a man went home to his wife and cute little three-year old daughter.

"Have you a kiss for Daddy?" he asked.

"No."

"I'm ashamed of you! Your Daddy works hard all day to bring home some money, and you behave like that Come on now, where's the kiss?"

Looking him right in the eye, the three-year-old said, "Where's the money?"


Harry, a bright youngster, was told by his mother that she would give him ten cents for every dozen pins he rescued from the floor, thus preventing her one-year-old babe, who was just beginning to crawl, from finding them.

"What will you do with the money when you earn it, Harry?" he was asked by a neighbor.

"With the first ten cents," said Harry promptly, "I'll buy a paper of pins and scatter them all over the house!"—Sunshine Magazine


After his return from church one Sunday a small boy said, "You know what, Mommie? I'm going to be a minister when I grow up."

"That's fine," said his mother. "But what made you decide you want to be a preacher?"

"Well," said the boy pensively, "I'll have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and I think it would be more fun to stand up and yell than to sit still and listen.'—Sunshine Magazine


A small boy asked his father the meaning of the word "trans-atlantic" and was told that it meant "across the Atlantic."

'Well, does 'trans' always mean across?" asked the boy.

"Yes," replied Father, sharply.

"Then," said the small boy meekly, "I suppose 'transparent' means a cross parent."


A young English lad, tired of being reminded by his father of his poor grades, put this ad in a Lancashire newspaper: 'Will anyone who went to school with my father in 1923 please tell me what kind of scholar he was?"—Indiana Teacher


It's a story told by Ford Wilson of Zion. During one of the first services in the sanctuary of the new Bonnie Brook Baptist church in Waukegan, a collection was taken for "aisle runners" to carpet the church aisles.

Upon arrival home afterward, an 11-year-old son of one of the ushers queried, "Mom, how much money did Dad get in the collection?"

The astonished mother answered, 'Why, your father got none of the money—it was for aisle runners!"

"But isn't Dad an aisle runner?" asked the boy.—Chicago Tribune


"Every parent knows that children can instantly sense the different emotional overtones between 'I have to play with you' and 'I want to play with you,'" psychiatrist Lena Levine told me.

"If a father spends only two hours a week with his children, but gives fully of his love and interest during that time it is better than twenty hours grudgingly yielded."—NouseraN M. Lemma, "The Growing Pressure of Young Fathers," Redbook

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