Superintendent Sermon Illustrations

Superintendent Sermon Illustrations

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When we read Alice in Wonderland to our children and recite the queen's dramatic words, "Off with their heads!" we know we are in the land of make-believe. But do we know that in almost every state of our fair land some boards of education are saying "Off with his head!" in a reckless use of power to fire superintendents.—The School Administrator, American Association of School Administrators

As good old Superintendent McGillicuddy used to remark after an exhausting session with his school board: "A schoolteacher is one who makes education happen; a college professor is one who watches education happen; but a school superintendent is the one to whom education happens whether he is watching or not."—Frederick J. Moffitt, Nation's Schools

Don't be surprised if some extrovertive superintendent doesn't go down in history as the most persevering administrator of all time by willing that his ashes be scattered from one end of his school district to the other.—M. Dale Baughman

Doctor to superintendent: "Tell your wife to forget that slight deafness—it's merely an indication of growing older."

Superintendent: "You tell her!"

The new superintendent soon gets measured. One inquisitive teacher asked the secretary, "How is our new superintendent on dictating?" "Well," replied his aide, "you just have to take some things for grunted."

The superintendent of a school in a neighboring town was unexpectedly called upon to address a group of youngsters in the schoolroom. To gain time, he asked, "Well, what shall I speak about?"

A young one in the front seat, who had committed to memory a number of declamations, held up his hand, and in a shrill voice asked, "What do you know?"

The school administrator who does the hiring of teachers might well heed the same advice the old Quaker gave to his son: "When thee went acourting, I told thee to keep thy eyes open; now that thou art married, I tell thee to keep them half shut."

For the administrator this would read, "When thee goes a-re¬cruiting, keep thy eyes open; but when thou hast married the teacher to the school, keep them half shut.—M. Dale Baughman

A superintendent visited kindergarten one day and while observing the children playing outside, he noticed that one little lad fell and skinned his knee. The superintendent picked him up and asked, "Are you hurt, son?"

"Hurt, hell," he answered, "Somebody's gonna' get sued!"

When the superintendent of a large school learned that one of his recruiters had been found dead in a hotel room, he immediately wired the hotel: "Search body for signed contracts and return same by special delivery."

A congressman had a hard time explaining his vote on a measure objectionable to the right-minded members of his constituency. At last he said: "But, gentlemen, you simply do not understand the outside pressure brought to bear on a man in my position!" In reply to that an old sea captain in the audience cried out: "But where are your inside braces for that outside pressure?" The inside braces in a vessel are made of the strongest material. Set firmly in place, they are able to withstand the greatest outside pressure of storms and waves. A school superintendent needs inside braces to withstand the assaults of his critics.

"Wanted, an administrator! Not a bookkeeper, not an accountant, not a business manager, not a mechanic, not a public relations expert, not a communications consultant, not merely the friend of the teacher, the student, and Mr. Citizen; but a superin tendent or a principal who is a combination of all these and more, who is willing to endure all things if only education may progress and the future of the American nation is served wisely and well."—Dr. Lloyd N. Morrisett, Professor of Educational Administration, University of California, Los Angeles, California, NITPA Newsletter

Two teachers were discussing their new superintendent. "You can't help liking the guy," said one. "If you don't, he fires you."

Years ago when I was a young, beginning teacher I frequently found myself standing in a long, long applicant's line winding around the corridors waiting to be grilled by some superintendent who had just one vacancy.

Now, I stand in those same long lines but they're made up of superintendents waiting to interview just one applicant.

You may have heard about the canary sucked into the vacuum cleaner as the lady of the house attempted to clean the cage. Yes, the bird was retrieved alive but much the worse for wear with tail feathers missing and otherwise in disarray.

Superintendents too are often sucked into a wind funnel of public pressure. Safety experts and animal lovers suggest a precaution in the case of the bird—take him out of the cage before using the vacuum. Unfortunately, the superintendent is always on display and it is difficult for him to remove himself when the pressure pulls him toward danger and possible professional destruction.—M. Dale Baughman

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